The Auvernha Enquirer

[Crystal]

((hehe the local gossip news))

Prince Alain Fails (Again!)

Calling all political figures! Prince Alain needs your help!

In what was regarded as a very important Council meeting, yesterday the prince gave a wild and horrendous speech that would even make those American politicians squirm! With requests and ideas about equal rights for the new triple helix population, it's apparent that Prince Alain is headed down an extremely liberal path. A source close to the royal family says that Prince Alain has been headed down this path for quite some time, much to the disappointment of the King and Queen. King Frederic has apparently had enough though, as another source says that he requested Prince Philippe be in attendance at the meeting to show him how not to act in Council meetings and the views that should not be taken from the royal family. A close friend to Prince Philippe claims that after the meeting, even he wondered why his brother was allowed to make speeches at all. Is this Auvernha's next king? The public is begging for the "Phantom Prince" to return to his solitude away from the public eye!

The disgrace of the speech did not seem to affect Prince Alain though, as just hours after making the speech he was seen fleeing the palace with his older sister, Princess Jacqueline. The two escaped to a cafe, where sources tell The Enquirer that they met up with another man. Perhaps the renowned humanitarian will do the rest of humanity a favor and help her brother out!

[Crystal]

Alain vs. Philippe: Round 1

Prince vs. Prince. Brother vs. Brother. The quest for the royal throne, which Prince Alain laid claim for over 21 years, is now up for debate! With Alain's stunning confession in the press conference held yesterday, it seems as though Prince Philippe is the rightful heir to the throne.

But will he be the next king?

In an unprecedent situation, Alain has suggested that the next King of France be decided by the people! It's a story those Americans would love to hear: the people being able to vote for their leader. The public is torn between tradition and sympathy. One source close to Prince Philippe tells the Enquirer that the younger brother claims he will be king and he will be a better king than Alain would ever be. However, in an informal poll by the Enquirer, we have found that Philippe does not have the throne in the bag just yet. With Alain's emergence from the shadows of the palace and his involvement with the community, his public approval ratings have skyrocketed despite his recent breakdown last December. Being seen with the public, sometimes with his bodyguard girlfriend, has seemed to help Alain. Rumors of a growing brawl between said girlfriend and Prince Philippe are flying. Bets anyone?

However, with Alain suggesting that the people vote on their next king, rumors are spreading about how the other D'Aubigne siblings feel. One source says that Princess Jacqueline wants to claim the throne over her brothers and is willing to fight to achieve that goal! As the oldest D'Aubigne child (that we know of!) the source says that she has a right to the throne. France's 2007 Hot Young Female, Sasha D'Aubigne, is also rumored to want a piece of the action. The royal family has not put out an official statement, but we're expecting a fight to the finish!

Stay with us for the latest news and hot topics from France's royal family!

[Crystal]

Benefit Turns to Brawl!

The question is not what did we learn, but what didn't we learn last night at the Children's Hospitals of France Benefit Ball. In a room of some of the most influential people in France, all eyes were on the royal family. At first, things seemed to be going well. But with a distracted King Frederic, the royal siblings were at it again! The gloves came off tonight and the press learned numerous new information about the lives of the royal siblings as well as who they would like to see as king. The smear campaign that has been growing between Princes Alain and Philippe smells very much like those that go on between the Americans during their presenditial elections. However, we doubt the Americans have ever duked it out in a fist fight! Philippe laid the first punch and Alain tackled him to the ground, jumping over tables of food and innocent reporters, before an angry King Frederic broke up the fight and ushered them out of the room. While this is probably just a taste of the things to come, here are some facts that the Auvernha Enquirer learned last night:

1. A royal engagement is in the works! Alain did not deny it when asked questions about his relationship with his bodyguard and whether an engagement would be on the way. He says the relationship has been growing for quite some time. Doing follow up reports, we have learned that a number of witnesses have seen him eyeing jewelry stores and order magazines from the top jewelers in the world to find that special ring. With Valentine's Day just around the corner, we might be seeing a summer wedding at the royal palace!

2. Philippe has accused Alain of being a hypocrite for attending the benefit last night! He uses heart-wrenching examples of Alain's trip to Sudan with his sister Jacqueline, pushing a young girl aside who was asking for help. Alain also refused to go with with sister to Romania because he did not want to deal with the peasants of orphans of the country. When asked about this, Jacqueline denied these accusations and said Alain never pushed any girl and was busy with other engagements when she had planned to go to Romania. We're not sure who to believe!

3. Alain has called Philippe's morals into question, bringing to light the young prince's keg parties. He has questioned whether Philippe can grow up enough to be king of France, claiming that Philippe is only worried about being popular at his school, Bay Ridge High School. Photos have shown Philippe after some of these wild nights, and do not forget Philippe and Sasha's rendez-vous in Utopia Casino! Both princes appear to have their flaws, but the public has yet to decide for certain whose flaws they will accept.

4. Prince Philippe is in a relationship with an unknown Auvernha local! It is rumored to be a student at Bay Ridge, though we do not have a name. Sources tell us that he is close friends with a number of members of the Bay Ridge cheerleading team. We will be the first to announce the lucky girl's name!

5. Philippe claims that while he was busy learning about the education system in France, Alain and Jacqueline were "shacking up" with their security! While Alain's relationship with his bodyguard is already known, the princess neither denies or confirms the relationship. She is usually seen with a young man who sources name as Giovanni D'Alassio, the same young man she went to Romania with and filmed a documentary about that aired on ABC-F. Though if they are in a relationship, we hope a slightly more romantic vacation is in the works! However, it's unknown whether it is a relationship or merely friendship. There is speculation that Jacqueline might be holding out for the young Prince of Sweden, who recently became an UN ambassador. Sources tell us he might have accepted the position to try to capture our princess' attention. Of course, Jacqueline has denied such claims, but she seems to be denying a number of questions about her personal life lately!

With Alain, Philippe, and Jacqueline all in serious relationships, that leaves one question: what about France's 'It' girl, Princess Sasha? By far the most attractive D'Aubigne, we are left to assume that she is enjoying the single life and simply having fun. When she is ready to settle down into a serious relationship though, I am sure we will all be standing in line!

The royal press secretary and public relations committee is still dodging questions from the media. They refuse to answer any questions about the fist fight last night or answer questions about the king's decision on who will be heir to the throne. The quest for the throne continues, and if last night is any indication, it will be an entertaining one! Stay with the Enquirer for up-to-the-minute information and the latest gossip!

[Crystal]

Alain vs. Philippe, Round 2

The latest on Philippe's love interest

While the country is awaiting the decision from King Frederic on which son with be the heir to the throne, the princes are still making their name known in the local scene. Trying to avoid the rumors and discussion about the issue, Prince Philippe recently attended his high school prom. His date: rumored love interest, Bianca Tagliatti. Our photographers caught them leaving the prom together, where they joined some of their friends for a party at the palace. Must be nice dating a prince! We did some digging on the lucky lady and our sources reveal she's a local up-and-coming socialite who is rolling in some major cash. Daddy dearest is Benedetto Tagliatti, shareholder in Utopia Casino and Resort, and he is also involved with the shipping industry in Italy. So with the palace here in Auvernha, the country homes around France, and now a place in Italy, we're pretty sure Philippe isn't lacking on where the couple can go for a romantic vaca.

So with all of the talk about love interests (and the complete lack of news from the King), it has us wondering not only who would make the better king, but what about the better Queen? That's right, folks, it's Ara vs. Bianca this time. On one hand you have Prince Alain's girlfriend, who also conveniently doubles as his bodyguard, Ara Levenworth. Her daddy dearest wasn't nearly as wealthy, and after much searching in the state records, we found that he and his wife passed away many years ago, apparently in a murder-suicide. The family wasn't well off by any means. But we can't hold that against her, right? She seems to be doing fine for herself now, but we can't help but think that she might be looking for a support system (aka $$$$) from the prince. Hey, people, it happens in America daily. Remember that cute Britney Spears and her trashy ex-husband? We're just saying...

And then there's young socialite Bianca Tagliatti. Philippe really picked a winner here, and that's no sarcasm. Sources close to the couple say that Bianca would make the perfect queen. She's smart, popular, and understands the unique position of being in the spotlight. We understand she's the captain of the cheerleading squad at Bay Ridge High School here in Auvernha. Plus, based on the above picture of her and Philippe at the prom and other pictures we've been able to get, we know she has some better fashion sense than Alain's girlfriend. They look like a perfect couple and Philippe is reportedly extremely happy with the relationship.

We can't take anything away from Alain's relationship though, because it's one the public loved at first. His parents disapproved of the relationship, but they continued it. Our sources tell us that Alain is happy with the relationship, and we understand that both can be somewhat shy, hence the reason we don't see many displays of affection. But it still brings about the question of whether the king (or the people, if we get our vote) will take the relationships of the princes into consideration.

We want to hear from you! Text your choice, either Ara or Bianca, to 5555, or go online to auvernhaenquirer.com and vote in our poll!

[Dewey]

((hahahahha. I love these things. You write them so well! You should be a tabloid writer!))

[Crystal]

Alain vs. Philippe, Final Round

It's time for a royal update! We haven't had much to report all at once, so let's summarize the happenings of France's royal family, starting with the most important -- the king's decision of an heir!

Well, folks, you've heard it here first! The king has made his choice, and he has chosen young Philippe to be the heir apparent! In a shocking twist that belonged in a Hollywood film, and sparking debate amoung the reporters, the King announced his decision live. And when he did so, it was obvious that the royal children knew nothing of the decision! Prince Alain stormed out of the room with older sister Jacqueline in tow (girlfriend and bodyguard, Ara Levenworth was seen exiting the room shortly after in hopes of soothing the pain of the prince) while Sasha and Philippe celebrated together. A celebration party is in the plans. Would we expect anything less? The Auvernha Enquirer will be there with all of the details of the number of kegs and the after affects of who pays off the police first to stay out of jail. Hey, we're just covering our bases!

So what does this do to the hopes of a winter wedding for the eldest prince? Surely he is in no mood to propose and plan a wedding after hearing that Philippe would make the better king. What about his girlfriend/bodyguard? Rumors are spreading that the relationship might not last much longer because Alain is so distraught! It is thought that Alain might move out of the palace. Sources are saying that the palace just isn't "big enough for both Philippe and Alain." Must be the egos taking up room! The king and queen might even force Alain to move out if he causes problems for his brother! Could he be planning to move in with Ara?

Meanwhile, Princess Jacqueline seems to be doing quite well in the relationship department. While still going strong with current romance, Vanni D'Alassio, it is rumored that the prince of Sweden sent a birthday gift to the eldest D'Aubigne on her birthday last month, though our sources cannot confirm that. The prince of Sweden is rumored to be upset over the princess' relationship status. And while she refuses to speak of her current relationship and likes to keep it under wraps, we can only speculate!

We have not had the chance to interview Prince Philippe's current flame, Bianca Tagliatti, though we're sure that she is more than thrilled about the announcement. Could we hear wedding bells in the future? No doubt the prince will be looking for that perfect girl to make his future queen. The Enquirer will have reporters speaking with her as soon as possible!

So we want to hear your input! Are you happy about the king's decision to put the party animal on the straight and narrow path to the throne? Or do you think this will be the end of the D'Aubigne reign?

Secondly, whose celebration party would you rather attend? Philippe or Alain?

And third, which sibling to do you think will have the longest relationship? Jackie, Alain, or Philippe?

Vote today!

[Crystal]

Alain to family: Kiss my royal @$$
Breaking news: Alain rumored to elope with girlfriend

After being royally dissed by the king in front of the entire world, the eldest prince has decided to seek comfort in his former nickname—The Phantom Prince. Avoiding the press and, evidently the future king of France, Alain has not been heard from for days! Speculation is flying around that he was kicked out moved out of the palace, while others are claiming a more romantic view. Alain’s bodyguard/girlfriend, Ara Levenworth has not been seen either, so it is to be believed that they are together. Reports were brewing of sightings in Switzerland, but those were quickly put to rest when other rumors were reported of the two of them being seen on a beach in Nice! And, folks, they looked rather comfortable in each other’s arms we hear! One source says “they looked at peace and it looked like she was a real comfort to him in this time of need.” Another witness told us “Prince Alain looked to be in a world of his own. He was king of his own land and she was his queen. They don’t need to acceptance of King Frederic.” The couple took France by a storm when it was announced that they had in fact been dating. And while the king and queen disapproved of the match, the public loved it and Alain’s approval rating went through the roof when it was seen that the public could relate to him. It’s been spreading that this could possibly be more than a vacation to the beach though—it could be a summer elopement for the couple! Obviously not in the mood for a public wedding at the palace, we think the prince and his future princess skipped out of Auvernha to have a private ceremony in Nice and with a honeymoon. We have not verified that with any of the churches or courthouses in Nice, but Alain would want it to be kept under wraps. We caught up with Princess Jacqueline this afternoon, but she denied the claims and refused to comment further on her brother’s whereabouts, asking that we give him the privacy he needs. Looks like someone’s upset that little bro seems to have beaten her to the altar!

Prince Philippe and Princess Sasha, meanwhile, are planning the celebration of the year. It will be catered and last well into the evening. We hear the kegs will be full. No word on whether the celebration will be approved by the king and queen. Every socialite in France will be invited, as well as royalty from around Europe. On the list of invited guests are royals from England (Prince Harry, no doubt), Denmark (Queen Anezka’s homeland), Sweden (we wonder if Princess Jacqueline will be in attendance!), and Morocco, as well as some celebrities, including Paris Hilton. No worries if you’re not invited. With the names on this list, you’ll be seeing the videos online soon. View at your own risk!

[Crystal]

Prince Alain Busted by the Cops!

Trying to receive help from Geneva Psychiatrists[/center][/b][/size]

All right, all right, so he reportedly was there on a publicity tour of the Geneva Home, which takes in children with mental handicaps. But would anyone blame him if he really was seeking help? After the shocking announcement that he was pushed aside in the race for the throne, he might need some help. All of us might need some help once Prince Philippe assumes the title as King of France! But, as we hear, Prince Alain was there for a tour and a little meet-and-greet, and got caught after hours. A misunderstanding. That's their story and they're sticking to it. We over here at the Enquirer are a little skeptical. He was there with girlfriend Ara though. Reports of their elopement in Nice are apparently false. Witnesses tell us that she was not wearing a ring, but that they did seem very close, Alain touching the small of her back to lead her out. Well, at least one thing worked out for him. It seems Ara wasn't looking for a payday when he became king. Or she's waiting. Either way, the public seems to appreciate the support she's giving to him in this time of crisis. One woman tells us that "it's incredibly sweet. I've always been a big fan of those two and to see her comforting him and accompanying him on philanthropy outings is wonderful. I'm sure she's taking his mind of it it." Yeah, we're pretty sure she is too. Hey, we're just reporting what we hear.

And not to be outdone by her brother, it seems Princess Jacqueline (including her bodyguard romance as well!) is also planning a tour of the Geneva Home. It seems Alain beat her to it, and the humanitarian princess obviously couldn't bare to be seen as less caring to her fellow French citizens. Way to go Jackie, we feel your love. We'll see how much love she feels when the Prince of Sweden rolls into town for Prince Philippe's celebration. Our sister reporters in Sweden tell us that he's excited to see the D'Aubigne family and Jacqueline. They reportedly haven't seen each other since her 21st birthday, which was held in Paris at the old palace. She had reserved a special song to dance with him during the evening. We caught up with the princess at a local cafe and asked her if she was excited to see her former flame, but she tells us "there is no former flame." Looks like the heart of the princess is taken, Sweden! Or bitter. Who knows! But Princess Sasha is still available, we hear! No word yet if France's 'It' girl is following in Alain and Jackie's footsteps and seeking a romance with one of her bodyguards. Although if she is, she'll probably have the entire male population applying to the royal security!

The Auvernha Enqurier will be on site at Philippe's celebration party, so be on the lookout for news and photos when it happens!

[Dewey]

((perhaps the Auvernha Times.. what Vanni works for))

((the décor mentioned concerning Sakura’s bedroom is of course fake. She probably just puts it up when she’s about to record a new blog))

SAMANTHA MARNER, FROM SWEET TO DEADLY?


It used to be that the only thing we had to worry about concerning cute video-blogger Samantha Marner was whether or not she’d ever tell her next door college-aged neighbor, Nick Caruso, of her undying love for him. An alarming video posted at 10:29 AM Monday morning suggests that Samantha has finally grown out of her tomboy ways, and in a way her fans would’ve never foreseen. Today alone, searches for “Samantha Marner” have skyrocketed 900% on sites such as Yahoo and Google, while news sources such as CNN and MSNBC are streamlining Samantha’s most recent video blog from their front pages. The video has already been played over a dozen times on major networks in France and over a handful of radio shows; across the seas in the States, TV personalities have chewed over the waywardness of France’s next generation all morning long, with talk shows like ‘The View’ issuing strong statements.

“Honestly, I’m not surprised,” chirped the show’s matriarch, Barbara Walters. “In Europe, children are far too audacious. They aren’t being raised with a strong hand anymore. This video is a credit to that. One minute you have a sweet, teenage girl bemoaning her love life’s failures. The next, she’s showcasing the weapons her hunter of a father supposedly collects? It’s a sad day when you realize just how un-innocent our children are.”

Samantha Marner became an overnight sensation with her blog “Samantha Explains Her Fall”, a spin off the popular Nickelodeon show from the 90’s “Clarissa Explains It All”. The name was born from the blog’s ‘pilot episode’, in which Samantha mourns the day’s clumsiness in front of her crush. The title went on to encompass Samantha’s general fall from and perpetual aspiration toward “the teenage dream”, which she defines as being popular, having a steady boyfriend, making the grades, and pleasing the “parental units”. In a typical entry, the blog opens with Samantha (or Sam, as she prefers) lying on her bed, journaling about Nick Caruso, the apparent love of her life. Finished with her diary, she realizes she’s being watched and proceeds to break the fourth wall (usually, “Oh, hey guys!”). For the duration of the entry, she discusses life’s current troubles, whether it’s best friend Allie’s decision to work at Burger King instead of at McDonald’s with Sam, or close friends Drake and Anna dropping out of high school to pursue the Parisian night life. She usually closes the entry with a witty line, and then promises to return next week to give her audience “more of the Marner.”

Today’s blog caused quite the fury, however, when Samantha Marner showed the world a side of her many didn’t know existed. In the video, we find Samantha in the basement of her house instead of in the bedroom wallpapered with posters of Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp and cluttered with Teddy Bears. The basement is dim at first, but Samantha turns on the lights one by one, and it becomes alarmingly apparent that she is surrounded by racks upon racks of guns. “This is my dad’s collection,” she tells us, motioning to the weapons around her. “He’s a hunter. Pretty cool, huh?” She gives us a thorough history of her “favorite pieces”, shows us how she weekly organizes the collection, and then gives a step-by-step proceeding of how to take apart, clean, and put back together a handgun. At the video’s end, she cheerily offers yet another witty closing, and promises to return, as always she does.

The Auvernha Police Department has already expressed concern with the video, and while thinkitblogit.com generally protects the identities of its members, negotiations are currently in order to help identify just exactly who Samantha Marner is. “The name is clearly an alias,” says Chief of Police Pierre Merlot. “What worries us is this girl’s living conditions. Is she in an abusive household? Is this father of hers really using those guns for hunting? Why is he sharing his knowledge of firearms with his young daughter?”

Fans have erected shrines for Samantha Marner all over the world wide web. Websites such as savesamantha.com and marnersavedmylife.com feature hundreds of posts on message boards, in which adolescents express their support for the twenty-year-old. “So she knows how to use a gun, so what,” writes FeministChick588. “Sam came through when other teenage melodramas couldn’t get enough of premarital sex, drugs, or alcohol. She proves that not all teenagers are ‘living la vida loca’ like the kids on 90210, The O.C, Gossip Girl, or One Tree Hill. She’s a strong leading lady in today’s world. People like her wit, her sarcasm, and how real she is. Instead of worrying why Sam enjoys cleaning guns, why don’t you worry about your bulimic daughter or your homophobic son?”

What penalties Samantha Marner will have to face hasn’t yet been decided. Originally a haven for material banned from other popular networking sites, thinkitblogit.com is already considering changing its online policies to protect its subscribers and its viewers. Meanwhile, the Auvernha Police Department is tirelessly searching the state for information leading to the identification of Samantha or any of the individuals mentioned in her blog.

[Crystal]

((so I realized I don't have any 3Xers! What the heck! Then I thought to myself, "Crystal, the Auvernha Enquirer needs a 3X staff person" and it gives a reason for the Enquirer to report! hehe))

Auvernha Under Attack??

Royal Family refusing to talk, assist citizens[/b][/center]

It's not a well known fact. Yet. Thanks to this article, we're pretty sure more people will become aware of what has been going on in Auvernha. We have reason to believe some citizens have become under attack! And while other news sources are refusing to cover it, we here at the Auvernha Enquirer will not stoop to their level. News needs to be reported! So here's what we know so far:

It all started with the royal family. Doesn't it always? Surprisingly, it didn't have anything to do with Prince Alain this time. At least we don't think so anyway. It's still early. Anyways, it started when the royal family's PR staff abrubtly cancelled all engagements with the press and all appearances. We still haven't received word as to why this happened. Princess Jacqueline was supposed to have an interview with CNNFrance reporter Jacques Leclair about Russia invading Georgia. Without warning and without reason, the interview was cancelled and has not been rescheduled. Prince Philippe's meeting with Princes Charles and William of England was called off. Though in this case, it's probably for the best. Do any of us want Philippe representing us to England? The fashion magazine, Vogue, was planning on having a photoshoot with Princess Sasha and to talk about life for her in Auvernha and attending college. All of these meetings and appointments have been cancelled. What gives?

Everyone thought this was strange, but most just said it was because of personal reasons. We're not buying it. Then, not even a day after the cutoff from the royal family, one of our best reporters doesn't show up for work. We contacted her family and here is what her sister had to say:

"We have no idea what happened and why it happened. Amélie has never done anything wrong. She has a perfect record and has never been arrested for a crime. We were enjoying a quiet dinner at home. She had brought a cake home from the store for dessert. There was a knock on the door and our father answered. There were 3 or 4 people at the door, all with guns and other weapons. They said they had a warrant for her arrest from the king himself. They threatened us until we handed her over. We have no idea where she was taken! We contacted the Auvernha Police Department and they had no records of her being brought there. We're so worried!

What? Back up! The king of France is now putting out warrants for people's arrest? Is anyone having a deja vu moment back to the 1600's? We're waiting for the "Off with their heads!" speech. We found this to be a little suspicious. Surely King Frederic would not be signing arrest warrants for innocent people. We thought Amélie's sister must be "misremembering" (flashback to US baseball star Roger Clemens in court, anyone?). Well, we posted a message urging people to help find her, and after people learned that our reporter was missing, we had over 30 people contact us claiming the same thing happened to their family members on the very same night!

So it turns out King Frederic is in hot water with the citizens of France. That's a first! All of us here at the Enquirer feel that King Frederic should have learned from history not to upset the French people. Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette anyone? How many others have been taken from their home by force? We've set up a hotline if you know someone who has been taken because of warrants put out by the king. Calls to the royal press staff have not been returned. Our sources inside the palace say they know nothing of what's going on except that they are still under "code red", meaning urgent and dangerous situations. Yeah, we'd say that people being forced from their homes was pretty urgent. They also say that Princess Jackie returned home yesterday, visably upset, but refuses to speak to anyone of the reasons why, except Vanni, of course. No reports yet if Jackie knows of her father's warrants.

It looks like it's about to hit the fan at the palace. So stay tuned, folks! When it does, we'll be there!

[Crystal]

Prince Alain to Public: My Father Is Guilty!

France on the verge of turning into a tyranny

So remember when the Auvenha Enquirer was the first to report that sh!t was about to hit the fan in the royal palace? Well, folks, watch out! Looks like we were right, once again!

Last night, it was verified that an email sent to one of our head writers was from Prince Alain himself! Inside the email, the prince confirms the stories that have been spreading about the king's involvement in a number of arrests that occured in Auvernha recently. It seems like King Frederic, the once French favorite, did sign off on arrest warrents, allowing innocent people to be forced from their homes, or even kidnapped! Did France suddenly turn into some third world country or something? We spoke to some sources who say they are close to the royal family. Jacqueline is obviously upset, as she should be, since this is a direct violation of human rights and is an example of wrongful imprisonment that goes on throughout the world. Rumors are flying that she's prepared to ask the UN to launch a full investigation into the matter. Friends of Prince Philippe say that he supports his father's decision. No surprise there. We are surprised, however, that he even knows what's going on. Supporting the king in his tyrant ways...this is our future, people. Those closest to King Frederic say that he is angry that Alain has confronted him about his decision. In fact, he's prepared to kick the prince to the curb if it causes problems for him or for Philippe. The palace public relations department is doing some major damage control. Hope they're paid well!

We took the opportunity to speak with some fellow citizens concerning this recent power crisis. Here's what a few of them had to say:

"This is unbelievable! I've always seen King Frederic has been very kind and good-natured. He's a favorite among the French people. He's really done a lot for this country. But to hear that he's ordering arrests now...I feel like it's an abuse of his power. Isn't that why we have to police departments? I think the power is getting to his head now"

"I think we should immediately look into his mental health. He's never before done anything this extreme. What's going on inside the palace that we don't know about? We have a right to know. If his mental health is suffering, I think it's time to relenquish power. Unfortunately, he's put Philippe next in line. Perhaps that was a sign of poor judgment as well. I think they should consider overruling him and putting Alain on the throne immediately."

"I think I'm going to move to the States! This is getting out of hand. Even Queen Elizabeth in England doesn't have that much power. We've given the royal family of France way too much power if he's able to do this. I doubt it's even legal."

Well, that's an interesting statement and it brings us to another question. Is it legal for the king to order immediate arrests? Sure, if it's concerning terrorists or high-profile criminals, but what about normal people who apparently haven't done anything? We've started doing some research. In the 1600's sure, the king and queen could do whatever they please. They can let the people of France starve even, as was quite evident. But this is the 21st century. The people have rights and freedoms. They've established a royal council. We have a judicial system with courts and law enforcement agencies. Those are the people who are supposed to be arresting people. We have security agencies and departments of homeland security. They handle the terrorists and such, and last time we checked, they didn't need the king's approval to take down a terrorist. So, actually, we're not really sure the king has that power. We have other organizations and departments that handle that. Wouldn't they be the ones arresting people? If the arrests were a matter of national security, why would the king even need to get involved and approve the arrests? It would automatically be in their authority to do so. So yeah, we're not buying that these were legitimate arrests. Obviously.

Something needs to be done! We're in contact with Prince Alain to get a full interview concerning the situation.

And, by the way, one-way flights from Paris to New York are about 3,234 euros (about $4,399). Start looking into cashing out those bank accounts. Just fyi. They're electing a new president in November. Electing...sounds pretty good right about now, doesn't it? We're looking out for you! Stay tuned for more information!

[Crystal]

King Frederic: I will let the people decide!
Scientists researching if hell has frozen over

In a press conference this past weekend, King Frederic maintained his innocence in the arrest warrants issue that happened. At the same time, Alain recanted his statement made to the public about his father's guilt. What gives?

Now we know! Rumors are spreading from inside the palace about the council possibly revising the rules governing the inheritance to the throne. Campaign managers have been hired, so this seems to reiterate the rumors. It seems that the council is very close to approving a measure the king himself requested--the people of France will vote for the next king or queen of France! Finally! It's not official, but, we think it's safe to assume they will be passing the new law immediately to save the King's reputation.

We went out to talk to the public about their thoughts and get an idea of who they would vote for.

One recent graduate from a high school stated, "The king chose Philippe in the first place, so I think we should go with the king's decision. He made it for a reason and Philippe would make an awesome king.

A rather opinionated feminist claimed, "Princess Jacqueline should be named as the heir. She's the eldest child and is much more qualified than any of her other siblings. She had visited more countries and helped more people. She'll be able to relate to the public and really do her best with the country."

One woman claimed Prince Alain should be named the next king because of his relationship with his bodyguard. "His father screwed him over before. Alain should be the next king of France. He's really come around. I didn't know that much about him before, but ever since he began dating Ara, he's really been out in the public more and seems to care more. I think he just needed someone to be there for him and support him because obviously his family doesn't."

And we then caught up with a young man attending Rochester University. "Princess Sasha should totally be queen of France. Who better to represent our country? She's hot and she'd probably make the palace really cool."

That's the future of our country right there, folks. Anyone feeling really secure now?

It seems there are a variety of opinions circulating the streets of Auvernha. After a quick poll of our staff, we've come to the conclusion that it's going to come down to Alain and Jackie fighting it out head to head.

Speaking of the princess...we've had some interesting developments this weekend! One of our photographers caught Jacqueline and current beau, Vanni D'Alassio house hunting! They were seen looking at a town house right outside of the downtown area. We didn't spot a ring on her finger, but we're guessing they're about to move in together. Some sources tell us that Jackie told Vanni she wanted a trial period before marriage, so moving in together could serve as a test to see if they're ready. If Jackie is elected France's new queen, Vanni would be the queen's consort, similar to Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. Perhaps Jackie is secure in the idea that she will be the queen, so she is preparing for a royal wedding to be in the works. We caught up with Ara Levenworth, Prince Alain's girlfriend (or fiancee!), while she was jogging in the park one morning, but she refused to answer any questions concerning the situation or the idea of being Queen of France.

Stay tuned for the latest developments!

Editors Note: No word on the scientists findings if hell really has frozen over. But, we're pretty sure it's on its way if it isn't already.

[Crystal]

A Royal Thanksgiving

So the economy around the world is pretty much in the crapper and people are losing their jobs, businesses are closing. But, thankfully, the Auvernha Enquirer is still running! The royal family of France keeps us in business. We were certainly thankful for them on Thanksgiving. And here’s why:

To make some sort of point, Prince Alain and Princess Jacqueline skipped out on the traditional Thanksgiving dinner with the rest of the royal and escaped to New Zealand. The royal family hosts a Thanksgiving meal each year and it’s an unspoken rule that everyone is to attend. Now their two eldest children have skipped out! One source told us that Alain cannot stand to even be in the same room as his father and him and Philippe are about 5 seconds from killing each other. Jacqueline is upset about her father’s blatant disregard for the human rights of select individuals in this country, so she refused to spend Thanksgiving with the family. The two also brought along some guests. And here’s where the weekend got interesting.

Alain, rumored to have been engaged to Ara Levenworth, invited not Ara, but Princess Audrey of Belgium to join him for Thanksgiving! The prince and princess met during Alain’s birthday bash and apparently have been inseparable since. Sources close to both families tell us that Audrey and Alain are a perfect match. He wanted someone who could understand the rigors of being in the spotlight and Ara was unable to give him that. In fact, it was Audrey who split the two up! Ara, who was naturally hurt by this discovery, has even cut back on her hours doing security in the palace. We were curious, so we went to the public and asked the peoples’ opinion of this recent development. Many of you were upset to hear that Alain had broken up with Ara for another royal and find it to be very hypocritical of him. We were even able to talk with someone who is very close with Ara. This source knows her personally and has even worked with her on some contract work in the past. He tells us that Ara is very distraught and doesn’t know what she did wrong, but that she refuses to give back the engagement ring. She wants to keep is as keepsake and a memory of better times between her and Alain. Some think it’s simply a publicity stunt to boost his poll ratings, however it seems to have possibly backfired on him. Recent poll ratings show that his lead has narrowed. As it stands, Alain has 42% and Jackie has 41%. Philippe is in third with 10% of the votes and Sasha has 7%. So until the public hears an explanation for the break in the engagement, Alain better find some way to fix his ratings! In the mean time, we have to ask…if it came down to a full fledge catfight, who do you think would win? Princess Audrey or Ara? Go to our website and vote now!

In happier news, Jacqueline has decided to stick it out with her own bodyguard and has not yet chosen another royal to take his place. Jackie and Vanni arrived happily in New Zealand. There is speculation that Jackie has found a home that is suitable for her, so it is only a matter of time before Vanni pops the question. In fact, sources tell us that they may have gone to New Zealand to elope! They tell us that Jackie was calling the staff there to ensure that the house was furnished, washed, and food was in the kitchen for the reception. We have our sister magazine there in New Zealand trying to get photographs of the them. The royal family had no comment, of course. Why would they when she didn’t even invite them to the wedding? Local wedding shops were disappointed to hear about the elopement because they have been busy designing Jackie’s future dress. They hope that the two lovebirds have another ceremony here in Auvernha at the palace.

Alain and Jackie have returned to Auvernha, so we’ll see how everything plays out. Stay tuned!

((and the source close to Ara was Daemon lol))

[Crystal]

Prince Alain denies Belgian relationship!
Says he’s planning a romantic Christmas getaway with Ara. Poll numbers slowly rise

It looks like France’s Sweethearts are back together! One of our reporters spotted Alain and Ara at the Four Seasons last night. As our photos show, they were holding hands and Alain seemed very protective over her. He even told our reporter that they were planning to skip the Royal Christmas Party this year due to her shyness. This explains why the two are rarely seen cuddling together or even kissing in public. So it looks like Alain is fine with Ara’s avoidance of the spotlight! He had no intention of making her uncomfortable by forcing her to attend the party. He confirmed that the two were planning a romantic Christmas vacation together instead, location to be announced at a later time. The two denied a possible engagement or wedding, but anything is possible! The waiters at the Four Seasons said that they looked very much in love, continuing to hold hands as they waited to be seated. They seemed to know and understand each other very well, all indications of a happy relationship. After their dinner together, the two headed back to the palace to spend the rest of the evening together. Sources tell us that Ara has started her old schedule of security again. We’re thinking this includes the overnight shift, right?

The Belgian fiasco has ended as well! Alain put to rest the rumors that they had broken up over Princess Audrey of Belgium. Thank God! Did anyone want her as France’s next queen? We here at the Enquirer were bracing ourselves for a repeat for the current queen. Our poll results on our website showed that 98% felt Ara kick Audrey’s @ss. We think the other 2% might have come from our neighbor to the north. Anyways, he claims that he invited Audrey to New Zealand simply as a friend because he wanted Ara to spend the holiday with her loved ones and that the two had never broken up. Uh…right. Yeah, we’re not buying that completely either. Our sources are pretty reliable and they tell us that Audrey was under the impression that the invitation was a date and that Alain had broken things off with Ara. In fact, the Belgian Royal Family was expecting a proposal from Alain at any moment! As soon as this story hit Belgium, it was told that Audrey completely broke down in anger. And, of course, the recent reports that Ara was devastated by the break up show that the two had broken things off. Well, whatever the case, it would seem that the two are now back together. Not a moment too soon, either, considering our last report of Alain’s drop in the polls. It looks like Alain had simply pulled a Prince William. Remember when the Prince of Wales ended his relationship with Kate (and no, we’re not calling her Catherine)? Not too long after that, they were back together.

The reemergence of the beloved Aralain relationship seems to have helped his cause, even overnight! People are thrilled to hear that the two are back together. One woman says that it is obvious the two are very much in love and the stress of the upcoming campaign had simply gotten in the way over the weekend. One couple said that Alain and Ara confirmed the existence of soul mates and true love. The latest polls now show Alain with a 3-point lead over Jackie, which is up from the 1-point lead he had yesterday.

Speaking of our adored princess, Alain tells us that there was no engagement or elopement in New Zealand between Jackie and Vanni. This is good news for local wedding planners and dress shops! He says that the two are very happy though and will have a wonderful future together. It looks like he approves of the match, even if Queen Anezka may not. No word yet on if Jackie and Vanni will attend the Royal Christmas Party or not.

The ball’s in Jackie’s court now to see if she can match Alain’s ratings! Stay tuned to the Enquirer for the latest in the Campaign for the Throne news!

[Crystal]

Royal Tree Lighting Goes On Without Conflict
Prince Philippe Endorses Sister!

((with a nice HUUUGE picture of the kiss right here hehe))

So with the Royal Tree Lighting goes on last night, we weren't going to miss the opportunity of seeing what would happen. The King gave a nice speech that no one really cared about, the food was exquisite, Princess Sasha looked stunning as always, and we got a few interviews with the royal family. All in all, it was a successful evening. Here's what we found:

First, it appears that Prince Philippe understands that there is no way he's becoming king. "I am very saddened to see that my poll numbers are not there. I believe I would be a perfect king for this nation, but unfortunately the public does not agree. My father had chosen me because he felt I would be the better choice, and he was right. But the public has spoken and now it's between Jacqueline and Alain." When asked what he thought the strengths and weaknesses were of the two, he said that Jacqueline had no faults that he could see. "She cares about the welfare of the people, not only in France, but around the world. And she's sincere. She actually does that because she enjoys it, not because she wants to better her reputation. I think she could unite France with other countries because of her humanitartian efforts." We've never heard him speak about something that didn't do with partying at the local clubs! We were in shock. But it's still to be seen whether the endorsement will help or hurt Jacqueline. If she receives all of Philippe's support, she would actually be ahead of Alain in the polls. And seeing how close Philippe and Sasha are, it's possible that Jacqueline might also receive some of Sasha's supporters.

We then asked him about his brother and his relationship with Ara Levenworth. "My brother's so-called relationship is such a scam. They're not actually together at all. She's his bodyguard, so of course she has to be around him a lot. I think the whole thing is absurd." When asked about his own relationship, Philippe only had good things to say about Miss Bianca Tagliatti. The younger prince went on and on about how amazing and beautiful she was. We asked about any possible engagements down the road, but he quickly put those aside, saying he wants to concentrate on other things right now. Since he's obviously not concentrating on the throne, we're not sure what those other things could be and he wouldn't elaborate.

We were able to get Prince Alain's reaction from his brother's claim about his relationship with Ara Levenworth. The French Sweethearts were cuddled together, trying to keep warm in the cold air. He laughed off the claim, saying his brother was an idiot. He also said that the Christmas getaway with Ara has not been finalized yet. It was amazing to see Alain so light hearted and we definitely see the difference Ara has brought to him. Before, we never even saw Alain ('member the Phantom Prince stage?) and now we see him laughing, smiling, and cracking jokes with his true love. It's amazing what love can do, people! Arms entertwined together, the couple agreed to let us take a few photos of them in front of the Christmas Tree. It was a romantic moment for the two. So romantic that the two had to go inside for a few moments to have their privacy.

We took that time to catch Princess Jackie. We did not get a lot of time with her, but we were able to see what she had to say about Philippe's endorsement. "I'm happy to hear all of the good things Philippe had to say about me. It was very kind of him. What's meant to happen will happen though. Alain would be a wonderful king for this country. I have no doubt about that." We asked her about the possibility of becoming Queen of France and ruling the nation. "It's an amazing opportunity that I have in front of me. I would love to be queen of this country if that is something France wants." And is Vanni D'Alassio happy about the possibility? "Vanni is very supportive of me in everything that I do. He is always by my side to encourage me when I have some new idea in mind." She didn't talk about any new ventures she possibly had going on, but she did confirm that her and Vanni are not married nor are they engaged to be married.

We tried to get the King's opinion of who should get the throne after him, but he had no comment on the situation, saying that it was in the hands of the French people now and it was up to them to decide who they want to lead them in the future. He said that he would be happy with any of his children on the throne. What a nice diplomatic answer. There has to be a favorite! The Enquirer is now investigating past interviews and pictures to see if we can tell who King Frederic favors more, Alain or Jacqueline. The king refuses to formally endorse anyone though, so it remains to be seen! We are trying to get in contact with other important people in the city to see who they will endorse. Stay tuned!