Karam Ataullah

[Crystal]

Karam Ataullah

Age: 14
Birthday: April 10, 1994
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black
Heritage: Arabian
Occupation: Saif al Din
Friends: Aqil, Farooq
Enemies:

[Crystal]

I tried once again to speak to Aqil about saif al din. It did not work, just like the other times. I want to help him and I am afraid that he will not let me help because I was injured that last time. But I am better now and I want to help. I am not weak, but sometime I believe he thinks that. I hope that is not the case. He said he is still running errands, but he will not allow me to do that. I will be 14 in 4 months, and that is plenty old enough, I think. But I do not want to make him mad or angry with me and my actions, so I suppose I will wait. He will come around, right? If it is Allah's will, he will allow me to help him.

I really do hope it is Allah's will. I wish I could be as strong as Aqil.

[Crystal]

My birthday did not go over as planned and I feel responsible. Not only did my father and Mr. Dajani get arrested, but Aqil did as well. All because they felt that they had to celebrate my birthday. I am 14 years old now and I should have told them that it was not needed. I was selfish for not stopping them and I hope that Allah will forgive me. I hope that father and Aqil forgive me and do not blame me too much.

For now though, I am the only male. I had to help Mother, Aqil's wife, her sister, and her mother escape. I hope that I did right. I wish I could have done more though. I wanted to stay and help Aqil. I wanted to make sure the women were safe and then go in and help Aqil fend off the Mutaween. But no. I went to the barn with the women to make sure they were safe. I am not sure what to do now. I need to do something. Mrs. Dajani mentioned something about an uncle taking her and Farrah to the jail perhaps, but other than their uncle, I think I am the only male. I need to still help Mother and I feel I should help Farrah as well since she is Aqil's wife.

There must be something I can do. They will all be taken to trial, but I'm not sure when. Could there be something I could do there? Perhaps to vouche for their character and tell the people there that they would never break a royal decree. It was a stupid decree anyways, made by these religious conservative fanatics. Perhaps I can meet with Farooq and Malik and we can come up with some plan to get them out of this situation.

[Crystal]

Our plan is going to be put into action. I met with Farooq, Zahid, and Malik to discuss the plan. Of course Malik did not even believe me when I told him that Aqil needed our help and had depended on me to get everyone together. Why not? Aqil is my brother. I am 14 years old now and I am able to do more things. I can get Aqil out, I know it. I hope so anyways. If this fails, I will be so ashamed. Too ashamed to even face my brother. So this has to work.

Zahid has access to gas that we can put in the ventilation systems. I am not exactly sure why he has it, but Zahid has always been that way. Malik came up with the plan for the gas and then a blackout so the guards will have a harder time. My next assignment is to get the location of Aqil's cell, so I will have to go visit him. I hope that I can get the information without the guards catching on, if they are around. I have been thinking of so many ways to ask what floor and what cell block he is on. As soon as I find out that information, the plan will be implemented and Aqil will be free. He has put his trust in me and I cannot let him down.

[Crystal]

I am so ashamed. The mission to save Aqil, the success of which was in my hands, failed. We were caught while trying to escape the prison and Aqil got pulled back. It was my responsibility to see that he was rescued. He was putting his life in my hands and trusting me. He was depending on me to rescue him and I failed him. I could not even dare to go to back to Aqil and Farrah's home. I would not be able to face her, knowing that I had failed. But I could not go home to Mother and Father either because, whether they knew it or not, they were depending on me to succeed. There is no where that I can go without feeling a great deal of regret and shame.

I will never be able to look at Aqil in the face again. Malik was right. I should not have been leading the mission. It should have been him. I do not know what will happen now, but whatever does happen, it will be my fault. I am so sorry. I wish I could just leave. Or better yet, I wish it had been me that was caught. I'd rather be in jail.

[Crystal]

I do not know what happened!

Because of my failed assignment, Aqil was sentenced to death. It was very upsetting and I saw the hurt and pain in Mother and Father's face. Farrah's too. I was so ashamed that I had been the one to cause that sentence. The sentence was to be carried out yesterday. I did not want to go, but I thought maybe I could ask his forgiveness beforehand, even though he should not have forgiven me. But at the square, there were guards and mutaween all around, but they seemed to be in some sort of frenzy. I got near enough to hear them, and they were discussing how the prisoner had escaped and what they should do! Escaped!

I do not know how he pulled it off, but I know it was a blessing from Allah. I know it. I have been praying constantly, and Allah was listening. He would never allow them to kill Aqil, and he truly showed me that our prayers are always answered. I am not sure where Aqil is right now because I have not seen him. I went to the place where we usually hold our meetings because I thought he would hide out there, but he did not come. I will have to ask Malik where he is. It was probably him that organized the escape. I will have to thank him. I will forever be indebted to him. After I heard, and I stuck around just to make sure that it truly was Aqil who had escaped, I went home to tell my family and then I went to tell Farrah. Mother and Farrah cried when I told them I was positive. It was crying of relief, of course.

But now I have to wait to hear from him. I hope his absence does not mean he is very angry with me. I must, -must-, get his forgiveness. I cannot do anything until he knows how sorry I am.

[Crystal]

I do not even know where to begin. The organization that has been keeping us wanted to track down Malakai and wanted our help. Or I thought they wanted Aqil's help. But it turns out that Aqil was not the one who would be going to Saudi Arabia to help capture him, it was me! I was frightened. It is all over and I am still frightened.

I went to meet Gamil and his group. Gamil...he does not care for Aqil and he is a dangerous leader. The thought of walking into that group is horrifying. They are unpredictible. But they bought my story of me turning my back on Aqil. It pained me to know Aqil was listening in on that. I hope that he knows I would never do such a thing. Gamil allowed me to meet with Malakai and preceded to take me to him. I was not prepared for it to be so soon! Malakai is more dangerous than Gamil, and sometimes I fear he is more dangerous than the Saudi government themselves. I have never liked seeing him in person. He scares me very much. I tried to remember what the men in the organization told me, and how Aqil was listening to me. I had to be strong! I could not fail. I did not want to disappoint him again. I have failed him once already this year with the botched excape attempt...if I failed him again at this...well, I don't think I would ever be able to face him.

Malakai was less than happy to see me. I feel a bruise forming on my face. He does not backhand very softly. Anyways, now that I was in his presence, I was not very sure this would work. And the other men with the organization were supposed to ambush and they were taking so very long! I felt like I was in the room for days. My stomach felt sick. But they finally came in, only after Malakai heard them and found out about the raid. I have never feared for my own life in the way I did when he lifted my shirt and found the wires. I was sure that he would kill me right there. I prayed...I prayed so hard to Allah. I told him that I would only follow the path he had for me and I would devote my time for him, and I would never question Aqil's relationship and marriage to Farrah, even if it makes me uncomfortable. I do not even know her and this country seems more progressive and Aqil likes that. Never again would I put off doing chores. When Malakai pressed his gun into the side of my head, I thought about the time when I told father that I had fed the sheep, but I really had not. Or the time when I said I had cleaned the chicken coop, but I had gone to see Farooq instead. I would never do any of that again, if only Allah would see that I was unharmed!

Well, I am unharmed. Malakai ran out of the room, but left me with Mr. Lamton. I was so overwhelmed, that I immediately got sick to my stomach. I was very embarassed, and I hope they do not feel the need to inform Aqil of that. I would be so ashamed to know that he thought I could not handle something of this nature. We returned to where Mr. Hainsworth was (who seems like he would be just as dangerous as Malakai if he really wanted to be, but seems friendlier) and we returned home. I think we will be able to get Zaki. That makes me happy. I miss Zaki. But on our trip back, it worried me that now it would just be mother and father on the farm with no help from Aqil and me or Zaki. But if Allah did not will it, Mr .Hainsworth would not have allowed us to get Zaki, so it is meant to be. I cannot wait to move into our new home. I hope we stay there because I don't really want to do anything like this again. I hope that Malakai is not placed near us. I do not think I would be able to sleep very well...

[Crystal]

April 4, 2007

Mother has told me that Aqil is to be married soon to Mr. Dajani's eldest daughter. I am confused and I feel that I am to blame. I was not aware that father was looking for a wife for Aqil at all. It is definitely a new experience. Soon he will not even be living here and I might not see him a lot.

I spoke with him last night and he said that perhaps we were now going in different directions. How can that be? I have wanted so much to be like him and now I find that we must go our separate ways. We had been told that saif-al-din was our purpose--what we were supposed to be doing for the betterment of Saudi Arabia and that Allah had wanted us to do this. And now Aqil says that plans change and purposes can change at a moment's notice. That is very true, I just did not expect for it to change right now. He is my brother and I am not sure what I will do without him.