Winnie Ashby

[Crystal]

Winnie Thompson Ashby

Winnie is the wife of Rhett! And I'll add more later hah

geocities.com/dynagirl1228/characters/auvernha/winniesalaise.html

[Crystal]

((Molotoyatti saga))

Where do I even begin? Last night was the worst night I've ever had to go through. Being held at gun point was one thing, but seeing a gun held to the heads of two of my children was too much. You really realize how precious life is and how much a parent really lives -for- their children. I would have done anything just to make sure Rebecca and Edmund weren't harmed. Thank God Rhett came home as soon as possible. I was trying to stay calm and strong for the kids, but I couldn't handle it. Not when their lives are on the line like that. I keep thinking about that. I hardly slept last night. I know Rhett has people watching the house, but every creak had me thinking that the Montoya family had returned.

I know this is a dangerous business that Rhett is involved in. I knew that before I even began dating him. There is always a risk when you have a lot of powerful enemies. I suppose I never thought it would affect my children. How foolish of me to think that. I was in denial, of course. But I know Rhett would never let anything happen to this family--I know that without a doubt. I'm pretty sure he would have killed both Montoya sons in a heartbeat if they had harmed one of us. All of this just really makes me think about all of the people the Molony family has against them. Who are their partners? Who has their back? Who are the enemies? I want to know these things. I don't know why I want to know, just...knowledge, I guess. I mean, it's not like I can prepare for something, but maybe know them when I see them so I can immediately call Rhett, or if I can't reach Rhett, one of the Molony partners. I want to know what's going on and who the family is at odds with at the time.

Maybe I just shouldn't think about it. I really just want to spend this time with what matters most--my family.

[Crystal]

((Molotoyatti saga))

We're still at Rhett's father's place. I think the kids are doing fine here, but, of course, I always worry about them. I'm not sure if Rebecca's sleeping very well. I walked by her room the other night and her light was still on and last night I found her in the kitchen. She said she was getting some water, but it looked like she hadn't slept at all. I'm not sure how Edmund's sleeping or Cassidy. I hope they are okay. This whole ordeal has just been really stressful for everyone. They seem to be enjoying themselves on the farm though and helping to take care of the animals. Distraction is good. Katherine called earlier and said she had driven by our house--it looked fine. I haven't heard anything about the Montoya family, and I suppose that's a good thing. No news is good news, right? Well...I'm praying that's true anyway. Part of me wants to go back to our home, but I also want to make sure it's safe for us. I know Rhett is handling that and he'll let us know when he feels comfortable going back.

[Crystal]

((what if.... rhinnerine reverse affections))

I bought the plane ticket last week when I was upset and now I'm here in Auvernha, France. I'm staying with Katherine and Rhett, which isn't what I wanted to do. It's a little uncomfortable for me. They're so happy together. Jon and I used to be like that, surprisingly. And then, of course, even though it was years ago, my stomach still does little flips when I see Rhett. I liked him a while ago, I know, but I'm still bummed that he never made a move. Well, neither did I, but I figured he wasn't interested, and then Jon asked me out. But after 3 and a half years, you would think I would get over it. Especially with him dating my best friend. Maybe I'm just jealous of the relationship they have together.

Katherine is going to show me around Auvernha, and while I'm looking forward to it, I also know it will give her the opportunity to corner me and ask about Jon. I told her about the incident a week ago when I called to say I wanted to visit, but she'll want to know more. The bruise on my side is starting to go away and it doesn't hurt as much. I know Jon didn't mean it because it was the first time he had actually been physically violent with me--as in pushing or hitting, I mean. But it had been enough and I booked the ticket that night. I don't know if I over-reacted or not. Leaving the country? Maybe I did over-react. I just didn't know what to do. I told Jon a few days ago that I was going to Auvernha. He didn't understand why I insisted on going, but I wasn't going to try to remind him again yesterday morning because he had been drinking the night before. I don't understand why he continues to do this. He passed out at a pub and then passed out again when one of his friends brought him home. It's getting ridiculous because he's 28 years old and he needs to be responsible and limit himself to one or two drinks. And I can't even talk to him about because everytime I try he gets so defensive and denies everything.

So maybe this trip to Auvernha will help, even if it only helps me. I needed a vacation. Perhaps it will teach me some patience with him. It'll be hard though because I look at Katherine and Rhett and just think about what could have been.

[Crystal]

((what if.... rhinnerine reverse affections))

Everything was going well. I was relaxed and I was starting to enjoy myself. And then it all came crashing down when Jon showed up at Rhett and Katherine's apartment. I couldn't believe he was here, and apparently Rhett knew he was coming! Katherine assured me that she knew nothing about it and Rhett thought Jon was trying to surprise me in a good way. Well, I was surprised, but I don't think if was in a good way. Is it bad that I dreaded seeing him?

We all went out to dinner and then Jon convinced Rhett to go out to some bars with Tiernan. It's his first night here and he goes out to some bar. I'm just glad they were there with him to make sure he didn't get in any trouble. A couple of weeks ago, he got in a fight at a bar. With a cop. And I had to go down and pick him up from the station because his other friends were too wasted to even drive. He's lucky his family has friends within the police department here because he should be sitting in jail preparing for trial for assault on an official. Rhett and Tiernan are pretty responsible (and apparently Tiernan has found a really special girl that he's crazy about, which is really sweet), so I was glad they went with them. Thankfully, Katherine convinced him to take the futon last night so I didn't have to deal with him.

Deal with him. That's awful, isn't it? We've been dating 3 1/2 years and it's gotten to the point where I have to "deal with him." It shouldn't be like that. We're leaving in a few days and I'm not sure when the next time I'll be visiting Auvernha will be. That being said, I keep getting this feeling of regret when I think about leaving. And I think part of it is Rhett. God, he's so happy with Katherine! And Katherine's my best friend! But I feel that I would regret it if I left Auvernha without at least talking to him about it. And honestly, I feel like this is my one chance because when I get back to Killarney, it's back with Jon. Katherine doesn't understand. She says I should just leave him, but what do I do after that? And maybe by admitting my feelings to Rhett, I can start to get over them and concentrate on Jon. The problems in our relationship could be coming from the fact that I've harbored these feelings. Problems are usually a two-way thing. I don't know. I'm just rambling. I don't even know what I want to do anymore.

[Crystal]

((what if.... rhinnerine reverse affections))

Rhett asked me to dinner, and I'm not going to lie, the butterflies in my stomach were active! But, of course, they pretty much calmed down when he mentioned he wanted to talk about Jon. And...well, it was a long dinner. He wanted to know everything and how bad things were getting. I didn't want to tell him, but I wasn't sure how much Katherine had already told him, and by the end of it, I think he got the gist of what was going on. I don't want to come between Jon and Rhett because I know they're good friends, but...deep down, I also know this could be a good thing. Jon won't listen to me about getting help, but maybe he'll listen to Rhett.

Of course, because Rhett now knows what's going on, he told me that he would feel better if I lived here. In Auvernha. With him and Katherine. Yeah. And I told him I would consider it. I was just happy he said he wanted me to stay, even though I know it's not for the reason I wish it was. But then I slept on it and this morning it came to me: What in the h3ll am I thinking? I can't stay with Rhett and Katherine! Do you know how awkward that would be for me? But I can't tell Rhett I'm not moving in without explaining why. He would want to know. He's pretty good at getting things out of people--he's a lawyer after all. So, I decided that I have to tell him. I have to tell him and then...well I don't know what will happen after that. I'll have to wait until Katherine's at work so I can speak with him alone. I have to do this.

[Crystal]

I forgot to blog on my one-year wedding anniversary! So here it is, almost 2 weeks late.

Married life is going really well. Rhett and I just...click. I don't know how else to explain it. He understands me, I hope I understand him, and we just work really well together. I just as happy now as I was a year ago. Sure, there are ups and down, but that's just like if I were dating someone. That's part of a relationship, but Rhett and I get through it. I never thought I would like it, but I actually love cooking dinner for him and having it ready. Even when he has to work late, I really don't mind waiting so we can have dinner together. The house is still beautiful. And when we have free time, we're able to just sit and do our own thing, but still enjoy each other's company without saying a word. I love that. We're that comfortable with each other. We've had Katherine over a few times for dinner, and I think Katherine is starting to enjoy Auvernha. She's met some guys who spark her interest. That's Katherine. Work is going well. I love my job. I was promoted to assistant manager a while back. I told them I was assistant manager at Brady's in Killarney, but I guess they wanted to give me a trial run and let me get used to the company. That's totally fine with me, I understand. So now I'm making more money, which is really nice. I know Rhett makes plenty, but I like to help out with my share as well! I hope to be in line for manager when our current one quits or retires. Keep your fingers crossed!

But all in all, one year of marriage and Rhett and I are still going strong. I'm still deeply in love with him. No kids yet! My mom asks me at least once a month when we talk. I don't know what her rush is. Rhett and I will have kids, but I think we just want to enjoy married life for a little bit before we jump into that. I'm just really happy with the way things are going.

[Crystal]

((what if))

I knew this would happen. I just knew it. Katherine's here in Auvernha. She said she came to visit us, mainly Rhett. She has no idea that Rhett has moved on and that we're dating now. That's the first rule of friendships--don't date your friend's ex. And it's not like he's just her ex...they were really serious. But Katherine didn't move to Auvernha with him. They broke up..it's a long ordeal. I feel like for the first time I can actually be myself around someone, and I feel that he respects me and cares for me. But with Katherine here...I don't know. I just hope he doesn't start second-guessing things. With Katherine here, he might remember those feelings he had, remember the times they've shared. So it's hard to be happy that she's here when that's always in the back of my mind. I don't know how Rhett feels about her being here now, I just know how he felt about her before leaving Killarney. And she's staying at his place...it just makes things awkward. I have no idea how to tell her, or if I even should...

[Crystal]

((the paaast))

I don't even know what to say right now.

First, Jon asked me out. I wasn't sure at first, but...I mean I do like Jon, but I admit that I like Rhett more. But I felt sure that Rhett only thought of me as a friend. Move on and get over it, right? So I agreed to go on a date with Jon. And it's not like it would have been the worst experience. Jon's a great friend.

But then Rhett asked me out! We went to the lake and it was just so beautiful. It was the perfect setting, really. And he told me that he had feelings for me and my heart was beating so fast! It was like I was in a dream. And then right smack in the middle of the dream I remembered my date with Jon. Blasted date! They asked me on the same day! But I told Rhett that I would cancel the date. No regrets, right? I would beat myself up over it if I didn't take this opportunity.

So the next day I told Jon that I didn't think it would be best if we went out. Our friendship is solid and I don't want to lose that. I didn't tell him about Rhett. I didn't want it to be some issue between the three of us. He wasn't happy, of course. I don't remember Jon ever being rejected in high school. I didn't want to upset him. I tried to put the blame on me. Anyways, I called Rhett afterwards and he came over and we had dinner. It was...well, perfect. I can't even explain how happy I was that night. I thought everything was going well. Jon did find out, but I think he'll be okay. We're both his friends and he wants us to be happy, I'm sure.

But then yesterday...it all came tumbling down. It's like I woke up from the dream and now I'm in the harsh reality that is life. Rhett ended things. He said that he would be moving to France eventually. He knew it was a possibility, but I guess now it's more of a definite. I just don't know what to do. I know we really dated for only a day, but I truly cared for him. A lot. Things were looking up. I don't know what happened. I hate that he's moving to France. It would have been harder if he waited until he did leave to break up with me, but...this still hurt. Sometimes I really hate that he works for the Molony family. He works so hard for them and they just expect him to do anything they say, like moving to France. I physically felt my heart break when he wanted to go back to our friendship. I know that I'd rather have friendship than nothing, but...I really think it could have gone somwhere.

[Crystal]

((beginnings!))

So I'm still trying to get over the fact that Rhett and I are no longer dating, and last night didn't do anything to help me. Jon had called me earlier yesterday and we were just talking. He asked me how working at Brady's is going (it's going fine) and he said I could stop by for dinner after I got off. I thought that would be fine. I've been over there before for dinner and his family is nice. So I went. I didn't know Rhett would be there. I should have known he would be though...he's always over there working. But it was just awkward to see him. I know things are fine and that he said he wanted to go back to being friends, but it's so hard to just forget everything. We didn't date that long, but I really liked Rhett.

Anyways, he thought I was there for a date. With Jon. Can you believe that? Does he honestly think I would do that when we just broke up not even a week and a half ago? It kind of hurt that he thought I would do something like that to him. And then he told me why. And I'm still trying to understand this and not be furious... but he said he broke up with me because of Jon. Because Jon told him to. I couldn't believe that. He broke up with me because of Jon! Jon! It wasn't me, it wasn't France, but it was because of the guy we both call a friend. I was so mad at Jon. I'll be honest, I wanted to just shake Rhett right then and tell him that this is stupid and we should be together and just forget Jon. But I can't do that. I guess that's what happens with three friends. Something like this is bound to happen, right? The best thing to do is just see other people. But I don't want to see other people.

I can't believe it was because of Jon...