Yasmin Parveen

[Dewey]

Yasmin (& Roshan) Parveen

Birthdate: February 7, 1984 (Roshan: October 3, 2003)
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 135 lbs
Eye color: Blue
Hair color: Black
Race: Persian
Occupation: Exotic Dancer
Friends: Voronova Sisters, Kostya
Enemies:


Yasmin hails from Tehran, Iran (Persia) but her family relocated to Russia in 1987 to escape the dangers of the Iraq-Iran war (which would eventually leave 500,000 to 1 million Iranians dead). She had dreams of pursuing a formal education after high school, but became pregnant at 18 years old. Humiliated and scared over her pregnancy, Yasmin feared the persecution of her overly-religious Shia Islamic familiy, and so fled to another part of Russia with the lie that she'd found a college. She was 19 when her son was born. Life proved to be a struggle for the teenaged mother. She went from one job to another, trying to make ends meet. At this time, she befriended the Voronova's, and a few years later, when their daughters relocated to France, Yasmin accompanied them. She was 21, going on 22 years old. She had hoped to find a better situation for herself and her son, Roshan. However, she soon learned that not many employment opportunities were afforded to foreigners with no knowledge of the national languages. She got into the exotic dancing business because it was quick cash that didn't require fluency in any language.

Yasmin tends to be unreasonably hard on herself. She is ashamed by her job, but has become scared to pursue anything else because of all the employers who have rejected her. She holds her motherhood to unattainablly high standards as well. She often feels she is unfit to be a mother because of her inability to provide for her son. She is discouraged by the way society keeps the poor down. She isn't lazy. She works hard to maintain what she does have. She wants to learn, and she wants a better job. But she has no idea how to go about any of it, and the cards just don't seem to be in her favor on any given day.

[Dewey]

((would the dancers know Kostya had been working for the govt? or mafia? ha))

It was refreshing to see Kostya last night. What a small world! He seems to be doing well for himself. I was surprised to hear that he's an accountant now here in France. I wonder why he left his job in Russia. Maybe this new job of his pays better. He wants for us all to keep in touch with him. I think that will be good for us. Things are so hard here in France. We work at so many clubs in different regions just to make ends meet, and it's still not enough. I'm worried every day about never having enough food in the cabinets, or money to take the bus to work, or anything. I can't even afford daycare for Roshan. Lately, I've been thinking more and more about whether or not it would be best if I find a loving home for him, maybe a couple wishing to adopt who can afford healthcare and childcare and toys and food... If Kostya is an accountant, he must know many people with money. Perhaps he can help me find someone.. It breaks my heart. I feel like an awful mother. I'm doing what I can, though.. I just don't want Roshan to grow up poor. He deserves more than that. But I can't give it to him...

[Dewey]

((the post was much better before lol.. anyway, perhaps Mrs. Voronova asked Yasmin to accompany Katryna and Nadya on their trip to France, since they were only like.. what, 17/18 at the time?))


When Mrs. Voronova asked me to accompany Katryna and Nadya to France so I could ensure their travels were safe, I jumped at the chance. I thought France would be better, that it would... let me pursue better dreams, make a better life for myself. But Nataliya was right. There's no point in having silly dreams now. This society is set up so that the poor remain poor, especially if you're a foreigner who doesn't know the language. I try to find work elsewhere, because what I do now is shameful to me, but no one will hire me. I must know English or French, and I know neither. The little money I get every night must go toward rent and groceries. I can't afford to buy books. I used to take the bus to the nearest library, almost an hour away, but haven't had time to do that anymore.

I feel so many times like the worst mother to have lived. My beautiful Roshan, so sweet and loving. Curious about life and the world around him, friendly, full of energy and joy. He doesn't even know there are so many things he lives without... education, healthcare, more clothing, toys, more than just Chicken Noodle soup.. It breaks my heart. I feel so angry and ashamed of myself for not being able to give him a better life. When I was 18 and pregnant, I was so humiliated and scared. I didn't want to havea child. But I couldn't have lived with myself if I had ended the pregnancy. And I'm glad I didn't. Roshan is a joy in my life. The only joy. The only thing that keeps me going. But..

*sighs* I've.. I've thought about perhaps giving him to a couple, a wealthy couple who hasn't been able to have a child of their own. I thought I could perhaps ask Kostya for help. He seems to be doing well, and I thought perhaps some of his co-workers might be able to provide a loving home..

Kostya has always been kind toward us, but last night he proved especially kind toward me and Roshan. He said he would help. Not help me find Roshan another home. He told me I would regret that for the rest of my life. And he's right... I know I would. I'd never be able to forgive myself. He said he would help in other ways. Try to get citizenship records for Roshan, so he can enter school. Help with the vaccinations he needs... and even small things like a little bed for him, some clothes... I can't even begin to express how much this means to me. A little hope. It's hard being a poor single mother, but... I feel a little hopeful today that perhaps things will work out and when Kostya teachs me and Roshan English little by little, perhaps I can find another job.

We'll just take this one step at a time..

[Dewey]

Kostya is far too kind toward me and Roshan. True to his word, he agreed to watch Roshan last night as I worked. I felt horrible about even asking him, because I did not want to feel like a burden. However, he welcomed us only with genuine warmth. He even bought medicine for Roshan, which I had not asked of him. He simply was kind enough to think of it. And he bought me a gift. I was unbelievably surprised by this. I can't even remember the last time I received a gift. And what he bought me was priceless. An English language book, CD's to go with it, and even a traveling CD player so I can practice when I'm not at home. I thought I would've cried when I saw the gifts. I was overwhelmed with happiness, and with...I suppose just his kindness. I know I keep saying that, but it's true. Everyone in this city has proven to be deceitful or cruel, and Kostya's kindness toward me is so refreshing. I've already started listening to the CD's and now know pronouns...

I am, You are, He is, She is, They are...

I am excited to be learning again. I will do my best so that I can have a better hold on the English language.

I feel better so very much since the other day. I do believe things will work out. Last night, I watched the way Kostya interacted with Roshan and it warmed my heart. Kostya has always been good with people. It's a gift he has. He's very trusting and welcoming. I am glad he is in our life.

[Dewey]

Kostya is in trouble. What can I do? What should I do? I knew that this would be a risk. He confided in me about his work with the government here in France. He is still working on behalf of the Russian government. I knew there would be a risk involved, and I knew things might get dangerous for him, and therefore for Roshan and myself. I would never put Roshan in danger, though, as that man accused me of. I knew Kostya would alwayas protect us, would always look after us. He has been very kind and welcoming to us. I trust him. I only wish that there were more I could do for him. I wish I could protect him. I would I could find the means to go to him, and take him away, safelty back to Russia. What will the government do to him here? How much trouble is he in? What have they found out? Are their accusations false? I cannot help but worry. Perhaps I will go see Nataliya and the others. I care very much for Kostya and waiting for his return is starting to hurt me..

[Dewey]

Kostya is safe and well! What a relief. I was so worried about him. I didn't know what had become of him, if they had imprisoned him or... or worst. I was nearly sick with despair. I did not know what to do, or how I could help. But last night, one of the men Kostya worked with came to the apartment and took Roshan and I to see him! And everything is going to work out. Kostya said that he has pleaded guilty. It was the only way he would not have to go to prison. I do not understand why they would let him free if he pleaded guilty, but I will not question it either. Kostya will be able to return home to Roshan and I.

Roshan has missed him terribly. Every day, he colors drawings of us with Kostya. I know Roshan idolizes Kostya and sees him as a father figure. I am not sure, but I believe Kostya knows this, too, and is happy to make Roshan smile. We cannot wait for him to finally come home. It may sound silly, but we have become something of a family. Kostya is a very dear friend, and has become an important part of our lives.

[Dewey]

((Roshan))


Kostya is back home!!!! Yaaaaay!!! ;D ;D ;D

I saw him first and I gave him a hug and then showed him all the drawings I had colored and he said they were nice and then he ate macaroni and cheese with me and it was really good and guess what!! Guess what guess what! Today, my mommy said later today, we're going to the playground! Kostya's gonna take me and he's going to push me on the swings and help me climb onto the slide and it's going to be so much fun! And Kostya said that I can sleep on his bed and I'm going to ask him if I can sleep on it tonight because I really really really like the blankets! They're blue and really really really soft! Yay!! Kostya's back and he said he's back forever and ever and ever!!


((Yasmin))

Kostya has finally come home. I was very happy to see him. The last thing I expected to see yesterday evening was Kostya at the kitchen table with Roshan. It was a wonderful surprise for both me and Roshan. I was so worried for Kostya, and though I met with him the other night, I was still worried. But now that he's safe at home, I know that everything will be all right. Kostya is such a wonderful man. He is caring and considerate. He cares very much for me and Roshan, and it means so much to me. I know Roshan enjoys having Kostya in our lives. He's always so very excited to share his day with Kostya. Just being able to go to the playground means so much to him. It warms my heart to see Roshan like this, happy and excited. I love seeing how he interacts with Kostya. And then, on Friday, Kostya and I are going to spend the day together. He insisted we do something that I wanted to do. I've always wanted to go to Turtle Beach ever since I first moved to Arcadia. I have heard so much about it. So that is where we are going to go, and hopefully we can get the Voronova's to watch Roshan.

[Dewey]

Things have taken such an unexpected turn. Yesterday evening, Kostya and I spent some time together, alone. Roshan was with Nataliya and her sisters. Kostya and I went to a beautiful placed called Turtle Beach, and watched baby turtles hatch from their eggs and hurry to the ocean. I have always enjoyed nature, and I have not been able to enjoy it as much the past years, living in the city. It was very refreshing, and a very precious sight. It made me think of Roshan, and about motherhood. And about how one day, I will also have to let Roshan go away from me, so that he can grow up and learn. I do not want to think about these things right now. Roshan and I have been inseperable for five years now. How could I possibly stand to be away from him? Kostya said we would simply have to ease me into the situation.

I thanked him, then, for all that he is doing for Roshan. And that is when he said that he didn't do it just for Roshan, but for me as well. He told me that Roshan and I mean very much to him, even when we were still living in Russia. He said this was the reason he invited us to come live with him. I believe my heart may have accelerated, then, but I had to remind myself that this was Kostya, a friend. He probably didn't mean to sound as anything more. I told him he is very kind, and would've done the same for any friend. And he reminded me that he'd pleaded guilty, just to come back home to me. And to Roshan.

I was speechless. Not because I do not return the feelings, but because I never expected someone like Kostya to have feelings for someone like me. Kostya is a very successful man. He is very smart, and kind, and professional, and...so many wonderful things. I am only... I am only a single mother, who has never been to college, who is only just learning English, and who's danced for men to earn money. I feel so shameful. I don't know what I have done to deserve such kindness from Kostya. My family would disown me, and be ashamed. I have had a son out of wedlock, I have been unfaithful to Islam, I no longer read the Qur'an or attend masjid, I have not maintained my modesty by wearing a burqa or hajib... They would not understand. They would not understand how foreign our culture is here, or how difficult things are here.

I never expected any man to see me as more than just... entertainment. Perhaps that is my own fault, for getting involved in this business. But I became accustomed to it. I knew that it would be possible that I might raise Roshan alone for the rest of my life.

But Kostya... he said that when I left Russia, he was sad. He missed me. Me of all people. I feel like a little girl at madrasah, blushing because a boy glanced my way and smiled. I feel as if, overnight, my life has bettered considerably. I do not feel alone anymore. I feel very happy, and very blessed. I care a great deal for Kostya. And Roshan absolutely adores him. I am so happy we have been reunited.

There is a song we heard at that restaurant Johnny Rocket's, that I very much liked. I do not remember the title or the singer's name, but the first words were "I can see clearly now, the rain has gone." And that is how I feel right now.